Let me start off by saying that mental health issues affect a lot, a lot of people, myself included. Almost my whole life I have suffered from depression and anxiety. One big thing that makes these “illnesses” worse is having someone in your life that causes you stress, that makes you sad, that makes you feel worthless. This person could be your parent, a family member, your best friend, your spouse, and whoever it may be I’m telling you that it is ok to cut them off. Let me tell you my own personal experience, unfortunately this person for me was my father. We never had a good relationship throughout my life but I always respected him, I never spoke back in a disrespectful manner, I tried to do my part in the “father-daughter” relationship but he was never really great at doing his part. I never really felt much love from him or that he truly cared much about my life, not because he was exactly mean to me, he just wasn’t very invested in our relationship, the way a father should be with his daughter. One day he had text me “How are you Adelina?” But this time was different than all the other times he had asked that, I decided to be honest with him instead of just giving my normal response which would be something like “I’m fine”, “I’m good”. He sent the text at a very depressing time for me so I text him back and I let him know exactly how I felt. This was during my second HG pregnancy, I was at a low point, I was weak, I was sad, I couldn’t get out of bed. So my response to him was “I’m not doing good, I’m extremely depressed, I’ve lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks, I can’t take care of my daughter, I can’t get out of bed, I’m not able to work, and I’m stressed about money.” His response to that was “well Adelina I don’t have any money for you.” And that’s when I decided I wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut anymore, I’m going to speak my feelings because it made me so angry that that was his response. I wasn’t asking him for money, in fact I barely ever asked my dad for shit. I wanted him to respond in the way a father SHOULD respond to their daughter. Maybe something like “honey I am so sorry that you are feeling that way, I am always here for you if you need me, and I’m here whenever you feel like talking.” That’s the response I wanted and was hoping to get but instead I got a text back that didn’t show that he cared, it didn’t show he loved me, in fact what I got out of the message was that he must not really give a shit about me at all. I went off on him, the first time in 23 years that I truly spoke my mind and how I felt, but for some reason he couldn’t comprehend that I needed a father to show me he loves me and to show me he cares. For 2 weeks I tried to tell him how I felt in every way I knew possible but nothing seemed to work. Keep in mind that I’m pregnant, I’m extremely sick, already extremely depressed, and all he did was make it worse. I didn’t need that extra stress on myself or my unborn child, I didn’t need this negativity when I really wasn’t doing good in the first place. So I told him that I no longer wanted him to be a part of mine or my children’s life. I blocked his number, I blocked him on all social media, I blocked him out of my life. I know that may sound extreme to some but it’s what I had to do for myself, for my mental health, for my happiness. And although it hurt and I’m not going to lie still hurts that I don’t have a loving father in my life, a HUGE weight was immediately lifted off of my shoulders. This negative person was now gone and it has made my life so much better. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but I 100% encourage you to cut this person off, whoever they may be. Your happiness, your mental health, your life is far more important than keeping this person around just because you feel like you “have” to. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to keep people around if they cause you more stress or sadness than they do happiness. YOU are what’s most important in your life and you need to do what’s best for YOU. Free yourself from the negative, free yourself from these people that are holding you back. Without them you might be a whole lot happier.
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